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India: The land of the wise

Photo by Andreas Wohlfahrt from Pexels In my country, unfortunately, free advice is distributed like condoms at an orgy. On 18 September 2019, I gave birth to my beautiful baby boy, Rivan. Since then, I have received a cornucopia of advice and comments from family, friends and absolute strangers. Here are some of these gems. Baby’s Massage Lady: He is not digesting his milk. Burp him. You don’t know how to hold the baby. You should always swaddle him. You should always keep his head covered. You should never use a bottle. Stop using the AC. Don't switch on the fan. He feels cold. How will you find his powder puff if you never go out and look for it? You're too slow. He'll turn 6 months old by the time you finish putting on his diaper. Doctor: Don’t use a bottle. Husband’s relatives: (When I was carrying my baby): We are only telling you the list of names that you should not keep. Or this child will be doomed. (On the day ...
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It’s time to stop glorifying long working hours

For the last 10 months, I have been a witness to sneers and remarks from multiple people. All for leaving work on time. One person actually seemed confused as to how I managed to do it every day: “How can you say that you have so much work when you leave on time every day?” Here is how my silly colleague: Our shift starts at 10 am and ends at 7 pm. I reach at 9.30 am and get to work immediately. You reach between 10.30 to 11 am, scroll on your phone, chat with your colleagues, discuss which movie is worth watching, choose which songs you are going to be playing on the speaker at full volume, eat, talk about lunch. The next thing you know, it’s 1 pm. Time for your lunch. I take a 30 minutes lunch break. You take an hour. Once you’re back, you declare that you’re sleepy. So, you while away your time talking to your colleagues about random stuff. Mostly petty gossip. Or take your afternoon nap. Guess what? It’s tea time. I take a 15 minutes break. You take 45 minu...

Types of people you find in an office

1. Alarm Clock Reaches on time  Works sincerely Never misses a deadline Leaves on time 2. Slacker Found mostly by the coffee machine  Reaches after working hours have begun  Leaves after working hours have ended  Highest usage of entertainment websites  Passes on work to others  3. Office Santa Always cheerful Liked by all Brings food and gifts for everyone  4. Gossip Junkie Usually seen talking to large groups over a cup of coffee  Focused on other people’s work and affairs  One of the biggest reasons for workplace controversies  5. Official DJ Headbanger  Karaoke specialist  Starts a song about any and every word uttered  Introduces people to new music  Creates an atmosphere on boring, slow days  Plays requests made by people  6. Party Planner Plans trips, parties and events on a whim  Guarantees participation by reiterating the ...

8 Slang Terms Used in Mumbai - Part I

For anyone who was born and raised in Mumbai, ‘Bambaiya’ language is the native speak. It comes to Mumbaikars as naturally as the language they are accustomed to speaking in their households. Although it may sound crude or even impolite to someone who’s a visitor or a new resident of the city, it sure is fun and very useful in a lot of situations. Here is a list of a few slang phrases used exclusively in Mumbai. Tumhara bhi nahi, mera bhi nahi Translation: Not your price, not mine.  Meaning: Every street shopper in Mumbai has used this slang at some point in their lives to avoid getting fleeced. After a lot of bargaining, this phrase can be used either by the seller or the customer to come an agreement about the final price. Example: Tumhara bhi nahi, mera bhi nahi. Last price 350. ---------------- Vaat lag gaya Translation: I/We’re screwed! Meaning: If you ever find yourself in a soup, you should know Vaat Lag Gaya. Example: I was ...

Happy Engagement A + P

This is a lovely poem that my colleague and mentor Vivek made for me on the day of my engagement. Why does everybody seem to be jumping up and down? It’s all about the engagement party that’s the talk of the town, When Amruta's and her best dude’s paths shall unite forever, Overcoming mortally inflicted strains on the mind, heart and liver. Hey Amruta and Pratik, take a bow! A lifetime of happiness awaits you now, Along with the sunshine, there’s bound to be rain, Dance and be merry, smile thru’ the pain. Meanwhile at the party, your guests will be thrilled, They'll relish the feast, their expectations fulfilled, While witnessing the coming together of two great souls, In a wonderful relationship that’s not punctured with holes.

Why Should Small Businesses Use Email Marketing

Remember the movie, You’ve Got Mail? The 1998 Tom Hanks & Meg Ryan starrer wherein the lead pair falls in love with each other after communicating back and forth? Well, how did this communication happen? Email! That’s right, reiterating the fact that email was a very resourceful and popular medium of communication, even back in the 1990s. Although businesses may not employ this tool for finding love, they can surely use it for attracting potential customers and engaging existing ones. Especially, in case of small businesses, email is one of the most cost-effective and result-driven marketing channels, compared to traditional and other new-age mediums of communication. According to a survey by Direct Marketing Association , an average email marketing campaign’s ROI is 122%. That is four times higher than social media and paid search. Another interesting study on eMarketer stated that 80% SMB professionals believe that email marketing is the best channel for driv...

Quote, Unquote - Part II

Viky: It’s better to be a virtuous beggar than a murderous millionaire. --------------------------------------------------- Nars: People who have made losses are still dear to the bosses. -------------------------------------------------- Viky: Relax. This is just one of those days. Amy: This is one of those months for me. -------------------------------------------------- Koch: I can explain it to you. I can’t comprehend it for you. -------------------------------------------------- Viky: Most people here have joined via reference. Amy: Yeah, look at our bosses. -------------------------------------------------- Viky: You don’t require to go to a gym if you visit a bank in India. -------------------------------------------------- Viky: Anything that is theoretically good is practically bad. -------------------------------------------------- Viky sends an attachment. Boss: This is neat. Viky: I like my whisky the same way. --...